Lunch For Success

Tough Times - Are the Rules Changing for Who Pays?

Posted on 11. Feb, 2009 by Craig Peters in Uncategorized

I can’t say it enough: a business lunch is an investment. You invite someone to a business lunch when you’ve decided that it’s a good investment. If you’re not going to be able to pick up the tab, then you have to reconsider your plan from the get go. Choose a more affordable venue. Meet over coffee. Entertain less frequently, and be more selective of which clients are worth the investment.

Laura Holson writes that things are changing a bit in her NYT article At the Power Lunch, the Check Is Kryptonite:

At Michael’s in Manhattan, some patrons who used to come in for lunch three times a week are now down to two visits, according to the general manager, Steve Millington. They are passing up extras like bottled water and rarely ordering both an appetizer and a dessert. And, he said, the number of customers at breakfast — which is about 40 percent cheaper than lunch — has increased 20 percent.

If you’re thinking that this is more sober and calculated than lots of power lunches have been handled, you’re right.

The Macho Game of Credit Card Lottery

When the economy was humming along and money was flowing, high-powered lunches were seen as a perk as much as an investment; a way to show off, feel good about yourself, impress the ladies, get what was yours because you’ve paid your dues. More from the article:

One wealthy woman, the wife of a securities company executive, said he and his work friends used to play a game at dinner they called “credit card lottery” to decide who would pick up the check.

Each man, she explained, would take a credit card out of his wallet and toss it onto the table. Then someone — usually their server — would be asked to pick a card and bellow the owner’s name so everyone in the restaurant could hear. The “winner” would pay the bill, which often tallied $1,000 or more.

“It was disgustingly awful,” she said. “The waitress hated it. The wives were uncomfortable. It was a guy’s betting kind of thing, you know, ‘I’m a macho master of the universe.’ Thank God, no one is saying let’s play that game anymore.”

For most of us, that scene never would’ve made sense. For most of us, we’ve always looked at the expense of a business lunch as an investment. Like any investment, you weight the cost and the benefit.

Let’s Just Put You Out of Your Misery

Let’s say you’re going to lunch with someone who can give you work. You get an hour of their time to establish yourself, build a relationship, and impress them so that you can have another meeting. Hopefully, in the end, they’ll be impressed that you know how to handle yourself and you’ll get the gig. Now, let’s say that the bill comes at the end of the meal and you’re feeling skittish about your funds, so you ignore it, hoping that someone else will grab it. You might even come up with some quick rationalizations in your head: “Well, she’s more successful than me and has more money…. She’ll understand that times are hard and she’ll pick up the bill.”

If you think this is a good idea, read another example from Laura and ask yourself if you ever want someone to think about you this way:

On a recent Monday night, Christine Peters, a producer of “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” tucked into a corner booth in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel with a fellow producer and an actress. They chattered about a possible film for an hour or so before Ms. Peters excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. When she returned, she noticed a thin leather case sitting on the table, with the check inside.

“Did anybody get this?” she asked. Both women stared blankly, first at her, then the check. “We didn’t see it,” one finally said. When neither offered to pay the tab, nearly $100, Ms. Peters did what she has found herself doing more and more these days: she fished out her wallet and paid the check herself.

“They were polite,” she said. “But neither wanted to pay. It’s like you almost want to put them out of their misery.”

If You Make Your Guest Uncomfortable, You’ll Pay

Say this out loud three times: If I make my guest uncomfortable, I’m going to pay a lot more.

Do you think Christine Peters left that meal with a positive feeling about working with these two people? Maybe. Maybe not. But if she did, it’s in spite of her lunch experience. Why make it harder on yourself?

Any social/business interaction is an opportunity for you to demonstrate that you know how to handle a situation. This is an opportunity to build social capital with that person; by making them feel cared for and creating a positive experience for them.

Just look at the opportunity cost. If you don’t get the work, you’ve lost more than the cost of the meal.

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Tags: business lunch, check, Power Lunch, social capital